Keeping a positive mindset during IVF is incredibly difficult. As you probably are already experiencing if you’re reading this article, in between appointments there’s a lot of waiting, hoping, and praying.
During my first round of IVF in 2016, I felt like there wasn’t much substance online of people sharing the whole IVF and infertility experience. I’m working hard this time around to take note of everything I’m doing so I can look back on my journey AND so other women can feel like they are not alone.
I have been filling my weeks with lots of IVF content to help me stay positive — especially since we just learned we’re not QUITE ready for a transfer — I wanted to share my favorite finds and tips with YOU!
Apps to Download
Meditation apps have been LIFESAVERS! They are so great for helping me find peace in stressful moments. Here are a few I love:
This is my FAVORITE for IVF meditations. I listen to this every single night before bed!
This app has ‘Embrace IVF Journey’ guided meditations. I like to incorporate these during the day when I have time.
I use this app for daily quotes or daily scripture. You can read or listen to it. It also has quick devotionals and a daily reflection that is based on the day’s topic and scripture-based!
This is my alarm and what I use for meditation, visualization, and sleep sounds. There are not any IVF-specific meditations but I love all of the medications and visualization are practices for great sleep. I listen to this as I fall asleep every night. BONUS: it is set to a timer!
Playlists To Listen To
I made this playlist on Spotify to listen to when I need to relax. I love that Spotify also adds recommendations at the end of playlists so you can be introduced to new, relaxing artists.
IVF Stress Management Tips
Focus on what you are in charge of. Become the QUEEN of your routine. The reality is… even the most dialed-in IVF plan can still end in disappointment. Accept the things you cannot control and focus on the things that you can.
Such as the food you put into your body, the healthy habits you stick to, making room on your calendar for rest, the positive people/content you consume, and the support team you assemble!
Have your DISAPPOINTMENT SURVIVAL KIT ready.
Disappointment will come in one way or another on this journey. Your timeline may change, the side effects may be worse than you thought. Scheduling may have hiccups. Cycles may be canceled. Results might be negative.
Whether it’s a big disappointment or a smaller one: allow yourself to BE DISAPPOINTED for a bit – but then have the plan in place to get you out of that headspace and on to a more positive track. What is that for you?
For me, it’s a playlist, Florida sunshine in the car with the windows down, prayer, and usually a drive-thru coffee date. Maybe you incorporate a taco night, a massage, Netflix binge, or a bubble bath. Whatever works for you – and whatever brings you to a quick space of recovery – do that, and then buckle back up for whatever is next.
Don’t spin out.
This is maybe the toughest part. Worrying is inevitable. But it is our choice as to how long we stay there & how deep we allow ourselves to go. Worrying, although human, literally accomplishes nothing excepting keeping you in an anxious or negative state. And the truth is – there just is not room for all of that on this journey. Do not compare your journey to anyone else & don’t assume that one disappointment means more are coming. Worst-case scenarios help us to mentally prepare [i do this] but then at the end of thinking of worst-case scenario – have the courage and confidence to know that EVEN IF the worst-case scenario happens – you will be ok, and you will keep on because you are amazing & you are capable.
Be your OWN DANG ADVOCATE.
Ok, so this is slightly off from mindset – but it goes together, I promise. i sincerely HOPE you have the very best medical team on board. I hope your clinic is organized & proactive. But, the truth is – they may not be – or they may not always be. But you KNOW you. You may not have friends who have experienced this. Your spouse may be doing their best to support you – but at the end of the day, YOU need to be able to step up for yourself. Ask the question.
Request an additional appointment. Read about this from reputable sources. If something feels off or feels weird – speak up. Remember who you are fighting for. Even the most introverted can really own their journey & advocate for themselves. When you have that TRUST in yourself, in your instincts, and in your role as QUEEN B in this whole thing: you begin to relax knowing that… yea…. you’ve got this!
Build a ROUTINE around what is BEST for your family in this season.
This is a tough adjustment. The appointments are endless. Your mind is continually thinking about what medication you’re taking, the side effects, is your body responding, when is the next blood draw, was that ultrasound ok? my appointment tomorrow is for what again?
You must create the space for your best possible outcome. Again, so much is out of your control. You will feel LESS STRESSED if you are going through your infertility journey knowing that what is in your control – you have handled. You’ll feel organized and you won’t feel rushed. You’ve pushed pause on the things in your life that were taking up time or mental energy – but can honestly wait.
Examples of routine building in this season:
- Organize your medication every Sunday.
- Move your workout routine to the afternoon so you can get great sleep every night without waking up too early.
- Order groceries for delivery every Saturday so you can have healthy food to prepare all week.
- Try to schedule your IVF appointments on the same day every week WHEN possible.
- Set a reminder on your phone every day at 8:00 p.m. to wrap up the day and get in bed by 9:00 p.m. to read and meditate.
- Try out a new morning routine that allows you to start the day slow and with a positive mindset.
Verses I Love
When all else fails, I like to turn to God. These are a few verses I always find myself coming back to in the hard moments.
Proverbs 12:25 Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word picks us up. [the Message]
Philippians 4:6-9 Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. [the Message]
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Luke 12:25 “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?”
Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
2 Thessalonians 3:16 Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.
Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved
Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Matthew 6:33 “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you”
Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him,
Psalm 91:1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty
I hope some of these tips help you through this hard time. Leave your tips in the comments below! I LOVE hearing about your journeys!
Infertility can feel a lot like getting pummeled by waves over and over again. But, I know there is another in the water with me holding back the sea.
Praying for good news today and everyday.
