Our Infertility Journey

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I’ve dreaded this blog for years. I know I share my life on social media – but this, this felt too close to home, too personal. I always knew I wanted to share, I just didn’t know when. If I’m being honest, I was worried that I would say the “wrong” thing. I was worried I wouldn’t do a great job representing the true challenge that is infertility. I don’t want to seem like my journey is the same journey everyone has with infertility. However, we’re finally ready to share OUR truth, our infertility journey.

A few things to keep in mind…

about our emotional state of mind as you read our story, or hear anyone’s infertility journey. 

1. We have UNEXPLAINED infertility and we were a healthy, active couple, we didn’t think getting pregnant would take so long. 
2. The news of failed IUI after failed IUI was so disappointing, we truly didn’t want anyone else to have to go through a similar disappointment for us so we kept it to ourselves. We have AMAZING friends and family and we knew how sympathetic they’d be but we didn’t want them to have to carry our burden.
3. It got harder to share the deeper we were into our fertility journey – where would we even start?! It’s not really coffee talk.
4. It seemed like 99.9% of our friends and family are expecting or LOVING their new members of their families. Infertility is a GIANT bummer and we didn’t want to take away a single ounce of their new joy. We know our friends would absolutely feel for us and even that seemed like too much to ask.
5. Some of our close friends just went through IVF {successfully – YAY!!} what are the STATISTICAL ODDS that we would TOO!? Slim… right!?! {wrong!!!}
6. Loren and I are positive, optimistic people, and most importantly, we trust God’s plan wholeheartedly. I just wasn’t sure I was going to be able to protect my mental energy (and positive energy) if I had to talk about it/answer questions over and over again. 
7. National Infertility Awareness Week is April 24th – April 30th.  { <— click that link to read more}: One in eight couples (or 12% of married women) have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy. Couples ages 29-33 with a normal functioning reproductive system has only a 20-25% chance of conceiving in any given month.

So why are we sharing now?

Well, hindsight is everything right!? I don’t regret keeping this between Loren and I {and my sister} but I now know our reality. I also know how difficult it is to find uplifting/positive people going through fertility issues. And at this point, I know how common infertility is and how awkward it is to discuss it. We decided we wanted to be a positive, joyful voice on the topic. 

In addition, you all know my husband serves in the military. His career is a huge part of our emotional everyday life and we can’t talk about it! It wasn’t long until infertility was taking up my entire schedule too – and I wasn’t talking about that either. Since I share my life on social media, I began to find myself tiptoeing over topics, sharing less, and not being as transparent as I like. These are the most important topics in my life, I want to share with YOU!

If we could connect with even ONE couple on what we’re going through, sharing this story would be worth it. 

Our Infertility Journey

Loren {my husband} and I had been trying to start a family for about three years {not including a seven-month deployment}. We had tried just about everything. I’ll fast forward through the normal “trying” stories and skip to early 2015.

Brief About Me

If you’re new here, here’s a super quick intro. I’m Brittany. I’m a Christian. I love and trust in Jesus. I turned 31 in March of 2016. I’m married to my amazing husband Loren, he’s in the military. I’m an entrepreneur {retired nurse} and work from home and, I’m an optimistic person. God gave me that. I’m not sure how much to get into my past but I had a rocky childhood that continued well into young adulthood. I married my best friend, Loren when I was 26 and moved from Florida to California the day after our wedding so he could continue a training program there. It was fun. We LOVED being young and married. The lifestyle I was thrown into was hectic, to say the least, so the plan was always “to wait a few years before having children”–  as if it was our choice.

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Brief About Us 🙂

Fast forward a year or so into our marriage. We knew we were open and ready to consider starting a family – we didn’t stress about it. We were just enjoying a fun new season of life and looked forward to expanding our family. That went on for a while. Then came timing, calendars, ovulation predictors, charting, etc. We did that for a little over a year. 

I’m a retired nurse so I knew sometimes this just takes time. I ‘knew’ not to worry.

Loren’s deployment came and for me, reality set in. I realized that every year he was going to be MIA for quite some time. We would be limited in the time we had to get pregnant. I told myself when he came back I would make sure to take this a little more seriously – at this point, we had been trying for 2 years.

Before he got back to the states,  I went to my OB for a normal check-up and everything came back totally fine. My OB started me on a low dose of Femara, one a day for days three through the seven of my cycle. This would help make sure my body was producing a follicle (or two) and an egg to ovulate. Loren got back home. I was on the medication. We tried that for three months as instructed. Nothing. 

Now I knew I needed to be sure everything was okay from a fertility standpoint. I went in and met the doctors at The Jones Institute. I had an HSG which stands for hysterosalpingogram. It’s an x-ray procedure that shows whether the fallopian tubes are open or unobstructed and if the inside of the uterus is normal.

PRO TIP: I always, always, always brought a book to my fertility appointments! I looked at every opportunity as a chance for personal development + mindset growth.  I recommend: The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John C. Maxwell to start!

Next, it was Loren’s turn. You can google what guys do but it was pretty simple and all was fine. He had a SMALL “less than perfect” result on his analysis but it definitely was not abnormal. Doc said that the value could vary between test samples. He provided another sample and all was normal again.

So, all this to say – we have “UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY.” I know there is probably no such thing but that’s the word on the street. So what’s our next step?

They said with almost three years of trying there is no sense in doing timed baby-making anymore we had done that. A. LOT.

It’s now November 2015 and the next step is I.U.I. IUI (Intrauterine insemination) is the placing of sperm into a woman’s uterus when she is ovulating. IUI is usually done in conjunction with ovulation stimulating drugs. YouTube has a ton of intense demonstrations if you’re curious – haha!

Here’s what my IUI process looked like:

• 1st Day: Start Monthly Cycle
• 3rd Day: Start higher dose Femara {to ensure follicles are forming w/ eggs inside}
• 13th Day: Have ultrasound to be sure follicles are there AND also that there aren’t too many {no octuplets}
• Day 13ish: Usually in the evening,  inject “trigger shot” of Ovidrel which just makes SURE I actually ovulate {release the egg}
• Day 14ish : Doctor’s visit. The doctor will place a thin catheter and put Loren’s sample {frozen or fresh} right inside the uterus for when the egg drops.
• Wait 2 weeks {torture}

If Monthly Cycle doesn’t start – take a home pregnancy test. If the cycle starts – rinse and repeat.

REMEMBER: TIMING – IS – EVERYTHING.

• December 5th, 2015: IUI #1 – I responded perfectly to fertility medication. Follicles were mature & the uterine lining thick. Doc inseminated frozen sperm.

…. failed

• December 30th, 2015: IUI #2 – I responded perfectly to fertility medication. Follicles where mature & uterine lining thick. Doc inseminated fresh sperm.
• December 31st, 2015: IUI #2b {same cycle} – next day doc inseminated frozen sperm.

…. both failed

• January 23rd, 2016: IUI #3 – I responded perfectly to fertility medication. Follicles where mature & uterine lining thick. Doc inseminated frozen sperm.

…. failed

• February 22nd, 2016: IUI #4 –  I responded perfectly to fertility medication. Follicles were mature & uterine lining thick. Doc inseminated fresh sperm.

…. Failed

Thanks from the bottom of our hearts for reading and being a listening ear.

If you have any questions about my journey or would like to share about yours, please leave a note in the comments. I LOVE to connect with other women who need a place to share and connect with others who understand their struggles.