When I started my business all I really had to do was take care of myself. I wasn’t a working mom. I was a newlywed with a husband who was either deployed or traveling for work 280 days a year. So, my days look however I wanted. I remember some days taking the full day going to lunch or a movie, or strolling through Target. I knew I’d be able to work my business later that day & night. In fact, I remember doing that pretty regularly – because nighttime can be one of the loneliest times of the day.
As our world changed when we welcomed our son into our family – my schedule changed too. I had no choice but to get strategic about the way I managed my time. That is if I wanted to fulfill my commitment as a present mom while also running a successful business at home.
At first, I really dreaded this. I was SO concerned about not getting enough sleep before I became a mom. I really do think it was the thing that worried me the most. How would I function? How would I be clear-headed enough to lead a team of people or do my day-to-day tasks? That’s when I discovered my first challenge as a working mom….time management.
Challenge: Time Management
Reality set in and I quickly realized – you can do your very best to create a schedule & a rhythm for your family when you have a young baby [and in my opinion, you should!] but, you have to know that just when you are getting into a rhythm it’s highly likely that you are about to reach a milestone or an unexpected hiccup – and you’ll need to stay flexible and rework your schedule again. This seems to happen pretty constantly – especially in the first 2 years for our family.
Even with growth spurts and sleep regressions – I was determined to find pockets of time that became predictable. These actually DO exist. While my WORK DAY looked different every day – the tasks still got done. I brainstormed a SHORT list of MUST DO’s daily for my work day. When I found those predictable pockets of time – I knew the tasks that needed to get done.
Part of my actual job is working out. My postpartum journey was also very important to me – and losing extra weight was a part of that. So, when I found some predictability in my son’s WAKE-UP schedule – I knew when I could count on a workout. My son NEVER [or maybe we should just say HARDLY EVER] work up before 6:00 a.m. each day. Some days he slept until 7:00 a.m., some days it was more like 6:15 a.m. I didn’t need to worry about cutting my workout short as long as I was done before 6:00 a.m.
Solution: Create a Schedule
Did I want to wake up THAT early and get a workout in when I had a young baby? I mean, no, not really. But when I created a schedule around an important task – I began to really LOVE the routine. AND, I really appreciate the freedom to get that workout done, be FINISHED, and be ready for my baby when he woke up for the day.
I really love something called HABIT stacking and TASK batching. I found that when I started my workout consistently at 5:00 a.m. each morning, I had enough time to finish my workout and usually add on ONE MORE work task before my son woke up. This was really important because the house was quiet, no one else needed me, and this work task could be one that required me to really focus, or film, or concentrate. I had no other distractions – and I got that task done before the day started for the rest of my family. So, for me, the most important personal and work tasks were done EARLY in the morning – before my baby was up for the day.
This really allowed me to have the morning to just be with my son, and take care of any house responsibilities – but not feel like I’m having to cram too much into the day – which always leaves me feeling frazzled.
The same thing applies to other tasks for my business. I would find other pockets of time that were more predictable. During the day – naps were pretty routine – but there were also plenty of days when naps were not smooth, didn’t happen, or were cut way too short. I would identify work tasks that needed to be done – but didn’t necessarily need me to be laser-focused or concentrate too hard. Since the middle of the day wasn’t really a definite time of day that I would be alone – I kept the tasks light or simple. Basically – this way I COULD multitask if I needed to.
Then the evening routine would come around and if I needed to do other work tasks that required more focus – I could ask for some help from my husband – or commit to doing them after my son went to bed. This is my least favorite way to manage my time – leaving things for the end of the day – because by then, we are obviously pretty energy depleted. I like to carve out time with my husband at night, eat dinner together, and prioritize rest before an early morning wake-up – but during those first two years for me, as a business owner, sometimes I did need to finish work tasks at night.
As my son got older – schedules became more predictable.
The most important part of it all for me is to know what I need to get done & to do my best to stay organized in my approach. If I have an idea of when I am going to do which tasks – the feeling of being overwhelmed decreases significantly.
Work from a list.
Stay flexible.
Ask for help when needed.
And if the day just goes completely haywire – I know that I will have a fresh start the next day to try again.
Challenge: Unpredictability
It’s a Murphy’s Law type of situation. On the days when I had deadlines or people waiting on me or a scheduled LIVE video – those were inevitably also the days when my son might wake up sick or just need me in a different way that day, etc.
With a family – comes unpredictability.
Solution: Let. It. Go.
If you have a general NORMAL rhythm for your days – then you are consistently doing what you need to do on MOST days. If this is true – the occasional off days are not going to rock the boat too much. You have a plan in place, you’ve been consistently working that plan on the other days, and the OFF day will be just that … ONE off day.
I’m an enneagram 3 – and if you know anything about that enneagram you know that we don’t like this. We like predictability, schedules, and being productive. But, there are so many great lessons we can learn by simply letting go of what is not in our control & trust that we will be able to fall back on the systems we have in place tomorrow.
All is going to be ok.
Now, if you are ALWAYS having these off days, then, yea, it’s gonna add up and become really frustrating to you. So, it is really important to be consistent with your rhythm as a majority to be able to reap the benefits & not be affected by the off days.
Challenge: Focus
Working from home is a beautiful blessing – but man, there is ALWAYS SOMETHING that can be done around the house. This means, distracting you from a productive work session.
Solution: Set Yourself Up For Success
The key to balancing this, for me, is having set times to do housework. If I’m supposed to be sitting at my desk returning emails – and the kitchen sink is full of dishes – as tempting as it may be, I will NOT be standing at the sink taking care of those dishes until my emails are done.
Better than that – having few household habits make the distractions way less. For example, before I go to bed at night – I make sure the kitchen sink is empty. The dishwasher is loaded. The counters are wiped down. The dishwasher is set to clean while I’m asleep.
Similarly, I try to start ONE load of laundry in the morning on my way out to do my workout in the garage.
When I have a few household chores already underway – it feels less distracting during the day. It can be very difficult to focus on work when you feel like your house is a mess or you are behind with taking care of the home.
Now, add in children. Not only are the dishes calling your name – but now your children are too. Whew, trying to focus on ANY task when others are needing you is pretty impossible. Your most important tasks need to be done when you have the quiet space to do them. For me, that’s early in the morning, late at night, or as kids get older – when they’re in school.
Challenge: Mom-Guilt
We have to talk about it!
Mom guilt is one of the most common and truly the most debilitating challenges of being a working mom or a work-from-home mom.
For me, this was toughest when my son was tiny. Of course, I didn’t want to miss a MINUTE with him. Fortunately for me, I was able to structure my day so that I didn’t have to. I truly worked before he woke up and when he napped. I worked after he went to bed and if my husband was home with him.
But the challenge is still there as my son has gotten older. Now, he understands more. He wants to be with me, plays with me, and have my attention. On the flip side, he can understand when I explain to him why I’m working or when he can expect me to be done. It’s actually the ultimate accountability!
Solution: Communication
I discuss with my children why mommy works. What it helps our family with. Why the work that I do is meaningful to me. In our family, we feel it is a GOOD THING for our children to see mommy has goals. A mommy that works hard, and works in a way that still honors her family. I am in no way perfect at this. However, when I have pre-determined working hours, I know I can count on those. If I am disciplined in that schedule – then my family doesn’t have to feel any kind of frustration of me not being present or not being there when I should be. Again, the best accountability.
The more disciplined I am in my schedule – the more FREEDOM I have for the rest of my life. I have the room in my day to just be with my kids or watch a show at night with my husband, or any other activity – without feeling guilt as a business owner because tasks are left undone. Most importantly I do not have to feel guilt as a mom or wife if I stick to my routine. I am not wasting time during my work hours.
Early mornings.
Organized work hours + tasks. Work from a list if possible.
Communicate with your family ahead of time.
I know not everyone likes so much structure – and trust me, even I want a carefree day some days. But, this is the reality of being a PRESENT MOM who does drop off, pick up, volunteers, and attends games & sports practices — while also running a business.
There are pros and cons in any situation. But, the blessing of working from home and the flexibility it gives my family is worth it all!
